all or nothin
by leavethembehinde
Summary: craziness in the akatsuki? nah...yaah...nahh kisame is sain


It was raining in the lair, nothing was going on, no missions, no drama no nothing, it was clam there was a storm outside but there was nothing too crazy outside though, just rain and some wind, the lair was warm,this was the akatsuki's main hideout, where everyone comes to sleep,rest,heal,chill and just do nothing...nothing except goof around that is, but today it was calm .Tobi was with konan and nagato as well as zetsu and the paths, nagato was to get a new clean pair of pale,white zetsu legs (something of getting tired of having to wait for konana to feed him), so no missions for the day, kisame sat in the lounge, watching shark week on t.v, hehe some guy fell into the water, how sad.  
Everything was peaceful...  
THIS.  
IS.  
SOWRONG.  
 **WHY ISN'T ANYONE SCREAMING, WHY ARE THERE NO HOLES IN THE WALL, WHY CAN KISAME HEAR THE GUY IN THE T.V SCREAMING, THAT ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN, WHY IS KISAME NOT FORCED INTO DOING SOME RIDICULOUS TASK OR GO ON A RIDICULOUS ADVENTURE WITH ITACHI OR SOMETHING** (not that he wanted to,that guy annoys him , oh kisame where are we going, yes i did take my pills, leavemealone!, some day sasuke **will die**...blah blah blah,it's the kyubi kid kisame stop goofing around, all the girls love me because i hate them, **KISAME WHERE ARE WE GOING** )... **blind fool** , BUT **THAT'S NOT THE POINT, WHAT IS GOING ON WHY IS IT SO** quie-  
"shhhhhhhh,sh,sh,sh,sh **kisame's gonna hear us**."  
"no he won't"  
"he will"  
deidara and hidaaaaan.  
*wham!* "deidara!"  
"shhhh,we can fix this"  
Geez those two, what have they done now?"Deidara,Hidan **are you in my room**?"  
"ohhh noo he **found us**!"  
"shh,shhhhh just listen, Um we're not yeah?!"  
This was too easy, "then why can i hear you behind my door?", kisame sometime ago got up and went over to his room to prove his theory of them, being,in his room.  
"gahhhhh! DEIDA-"  
" **shhhh** ,...Your crazy hm"  
"oh,okay it's a shame , i just thought that **hidan** wanted to see my new swOOOrd set, and i got **deidara** some colored clAy."  
"shit, he knows what we did to his sword"  
" **SHHH** "  
Kisame's small eyes went as big as...something really big...when he heard that," **MY SWORD, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SWORD?!** "Kisame was reeeeeeeeeeeeeally scared now, what happened to his sword, what are they talking about, whats going on?  
"dammit un!,UMM no-NOTHING!"  
hell no, heelll no, hhhheeeeeeeeeellllllll nooooo- * **CCcccRRRaaaCCKKKKKkkkk snap** *-"hidan!"  
"'sowwwwwie dammit."  
BAAAAAAAWWWWH OH NOOOOOOES,"imma coming in!", kisame announced with raged-worry...hmm..shouldn't have questioned the silence in the hideout.  
"KISAME WAi-", kisame wasn't going to listen to Deidara's pleas this last time he did that things didn't go so well.

* * *

[flashback]  
"please oh please yeah,promise i'll make it up to you kisame-danna hmmm?"  
"reallly Deidara, really? will you actually make it up to me, yeah?"  
"yeeeeeeeeeessss i will, just this once help me prank Itachi-san , yeah"  
"i don't know,un"  
"are you mocking me, hm?"  
..."...no."  
"anyways you and i both know you don't like itachi, you only get along with him cause it'll make him cry if he realizes that you actuallllllly, hm-"  
"Deidara-"  
"truuuuuuly, yeah!"  
"deidara"  
reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaallllllyyyyy,"reeeeaaaalllly, hate him un"  
"DEidara, you know what he's like, 'Oh SaSUke usEd To HidE mY b00ks EvEryWHere, i UseD TO drEAm ABOut pUnishiNg him SO BADLy."  
"yeah un, SASuke kissed Me 0ncE, HiS littLE gaY aSS waZ bLUSHing All DAy,hm."  
"KIsame i cAn'T See THe KyuBI kId,H0lD MY hAnD i-,nnnO!DEIDARA I WILL NOT PRANK ITACHI, HE'LL PEE THE BED THEN LEADER-"  
"don't worrry, i'll clean IT."  
...so then kisame agreed with deidara to prank itachi, so later that afternoon when itachi went to bed (because he's 0ld) kisame snuk deidara into itachi's room because him and leader-sama were the only ones who had the keys (because they're crazy) when he was asleep, deidara brought spiders, monkeys, voodoo dolls with real bugs all over em, some blood, his dad(he found him at The Ame market on sale)and the regular sharingan with him.  
"IS that **itachi's dad**?"  
"yeah, he was on sale un"  
Kisame shrugged his shoulders not bothering to wonder why itachi's family was on sale at AMe market, PRANK TIME, first itachi pulled away itachi's blankets (huh?), slowly because...because...that plushy of kisame looked like it was suffocating in itachi's arms that's why...why does he even...nnO focus, he tried pulling away dying kisame jr. buuut itachi had an iron grip and he was gonna wake up, the way he was frowning so hard,it looked like his eyebrows were gonna fall off completely, so he just placed spiders atop him, the blanket, bed, floor, bedside the table stand, deidara took a hold of the voodoo dolls and put them on the door handle and in front of it as well, he then placed the monkey on the chair to make it seem as if it was staring at itachi, threw the blood on him and his dad and placed his dad in the corner and told him a bunch of things to say, and gave him glass sharingan lenses to present not put on (you idiot)!  
now the plan commences.  
"itachi, itachi wake up,hey itachi"  
"hmmm i- RRRRRWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"  
iTACHI WAS COVERED IN blood and spiders "KISAMMMMEEEE-EEEIIII!", there was a monkey staring at him (he hates monkeys, they chase him in picnics)"nooooooo! kisame help gahh!,"itachi slipped on some spiders, they had wings which had meant they could fly."noooo ahhh kisammmmeeee-"itachi ran to the door, a voodoo doll, that looked like hidan had bugs that started to craw up his arm, ahhh fuck this is way too scary,"SSSSSSHHHHHHHHIT",he fell to the floor and saw MORE VOODOO dolls one like sasori, one like sakura (he swears she's stalking him.) one like garra, one like kisame-no that one is cute...he then got up and ran to where he thought kisame was and hugged him,"kisammmmmmmmme-chan GET ME OUTTA THIS CRAZY **oh fuck oh fuck** PLACE, PLEASE man, I WANNA BEAT UP sasukkkkkkeeee"  
Itachi's dad was in kisame's supposed position...oh man his dad...here it comes "itachhiiiii... "why haven't you washed the dishessssss"  
"thats sasuke's-"  
"NO, stop blaming your brother, and just so you know i all ready got his sharingan so mleeeehhh!"  
" **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**..."this was just too much, itachi got in his blankies and took a great big howl of pain and fear, then pissed him self.(shame...very much shame)

...it's over, the lights came on and all he saw was deidara laughing like a snail...disgustingly and the other person standing next to him, **kisame** who had **a smile** on his face and- **KISAME** ,"KISAMMMMEEEE, wahhhh i was so scared and i,i,i,i,i need to **TELL LEADER** "  
deidara started to choke.  
"no no no no don't tell leader!.",welp too late he's gone.

* * *

"and then deidara was laughing and kisame."  
"op, kisame is all i needed to hear, KiSAMMEEE!", TObi said in his childish voice.  
"yes leader"  
"go clean itachi's entire room, now please"nagato said in a more clam tone,it was more of a request than command.  
"nagato-sama, tobi-san,leader-sama i-it was deidara's idea"  
"really?" pein said with confusion.  
"YEAH,yes."  
"...nope, all kisame-danna, hm"  
"DEI-"  
"ALRIGHT then go kisame."  
kisame hung his head in defeat...it's always kisame who has to clean up anything itachi related.

* * *

"why would you do that... **.you**.  
"hmm?"  
"nothing!"  
[flashback over]

* * *

Yep...didn't go so well.


End file.
